Dealing with people isn’t getting any easier the older you get. Like a Bell Curve, where in the beginning and end you could give a shit what people think about you/have no pretense about complexities in relationships. But in the middle is where you’re always pretty much within one standard deviation away from the apex of the curve. Your relationships are more difficult, and there is so much potential for unspoken issues that sit, like giant pink polka-dot elephants in the room.
What’s the best way to deal with this average place, where we spend the majority of our lives dealing with all kinds of relationships? Wishing it away to a time ‘back when things were simpler’ or looking ahead to when you will be old and ‘just won’t give a damn’ isn’t very constructive; but that’s what plenty of people do.
I’m wondering now, as I wade through several surprisingly confusing relationships in my own life, if it is fear that keeps people just a step away from that damned standard deviation. The majority of people behave a certain way regarding their relationships, so why shouldn’t you do as they do?
I’m working up the courage to not adhere to the norm and if I have to deal with confusing relationships I am going to be as close the the edges of that bell curve as possible. For me, this means saying how I feel and not first worrying about what the other person may think/construe from my words. It means learning that some of the relationships I value most are somewhat unhealthy for me – and working hard to be more honest with myself, my feelings and whoever the relationship includes. Basically not letting the people continue to ignore the elephant. He’s fucking there and pink and polka-dot.
Lets acknowledge this and either work around it or agree that maybe its just best that we both leave the room.