There will always, always. always be an opportunity for you to make up an excuse. For any/every situation.
I placed a call today, on behalf of my dad. It was a call my body physically cringed at making when he asked – but I did it because I am trying to support him as he works to make some positive changes in his life. I had to stop making excuses for myself to get out of calling. So what if I felt like I was being thrust once again into playing the adult with adults who are much more my senior? Underneath all that I felt like I should just pick up the phone – so I did.
It didn’t change anything. On the other end of the phone, the transactional relationship that I remember was still the same. I talk super awkwardly, they say as little as possible and then a couple minutes after we hang up my dad calls me to say they are mad about what I said/how I said it/how he involved me. But you know – I feel pretty good. I did my dad a solid, and he can’t say I didn’t try.
Hopefully excuses that are being used by that person will stop one day – but its pretty scary to just admit how you feel without placing blame. So I won’t hold my breath.