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Samuel Thoughts

Reflecting

Lately I’ve had the itch to take more and more time off. Time off work work, and even time off from life. I’ve written about this some here and here but after reflecting more on it I realized a few things.

– I finally had a conversation with my business partner about the possibility of me moving on to do other work. This conversation went extremely well, much better than I anticipate. We went for a big jog in forest park and discussed all sorts of things and I finally articulated some of the feelings I’ve had lately. This conversation really helped me out and I felt like some weight was lifted off of me afterwards.

– I’m burned out. This year has been hard. I need to cut myself some slack and take time away from work. I have not decided 100% on where I would like to go but I have decided shortly I’m going to take some time off. I’m not sure how much time, I think I’ll just pick a date and leave with no exact end date in mind for the trip. I’ve always wanted to take a trip like that.

– I really like the person I’m currently dating. I’ve never had such a great relationship and I need to make sure that I’m fully present, enjoying all the aspects of it and appreciating how lucky I am not just floating along complacently.

– I’m too hard on myself and I’m doing much better than I was last month dealing with everything.

– Catching my family member drinking again was such a punch in the gut. I’m not exactly sure what I will do about it but I’m finally at peace with the fact that it will never change. I’m going to move forward permanently with the knowledge that this situation will not get better and I must decide what type of relationship I want with this person, if any.

– My sisters triplets scared me more than I thought and I’m not sure why. The night they were born and I went to visit I felt so claustrophobic. I realized that when I want alone time I’m not sure how to politely ask or tell people that need and I need to work on that.