Watching this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBH2Mdvl9ik&list=RDtkb26vFEp94&index=1) almost makes me sad cause sometimes I think we are all decent singers but then you listen to a dude like this and you realize some people just have a completely different level, kinda like we all learned that playing sports where eventually we learned like oh shit – people are way better than me. I kinda realize that about our work sometimes too, as in some developers just have another gear mentally. Dross approaches that I feel like, but even still there are just insane people out there, guys who have done shit like invent a crypto currency haha so its cool to listen to that song, but it makes me feel all of those thoughts/emotions, which really are not bad per say, I feel like its 100% great to live a solid – non famous – non rich life, but then for whatever reason I just have this deep seeding feeling that comes from like the back of my head deep down somewhere, that say’s I’m supposed to do something pretty big with my life. I dunno what exactly, and its not necessarily correlated to money or fame, but a kind of goodness – or something that benefits the planet or a large enough amount of people that I’ll be talked about to some capacity after my death by more than just my close group of family and friends.
If I’m perfectly honest I’ve had this overall thought since I was about 15 years old. I’ve felt like I should find a church in St. Louis, one that is most likely has predominantly black members. And that I would really enjoy that church, maybe because we had an African American man at the church I went to as a kid who ran the choir, one day he ran the entire service and just played music the whole time. It was freaking awesome and I actually enjoyed it, so maybe I’m wronly picturing a church with predominately African American’s as being a place that would more “real” and fun/musical than the stiff fake ass church I went to in the county as a kid. Literally 90% of what that church did was have a cermon – talk about the need for donations – then use those donations to build a bigger church – then talk more about how expensive it was to run the new huge building so they needed more donations to operate it…. at a young age I added up all the money and asked my parents, why didn’t they just take that money and buy food for homeless people, or do some actual good with it instead of just building a huge new building? Basically they were so self serving and talked so fake about helping people, so it left me with a very bad taste in my mouth for organized religion. But in my vision the church I find in the city is awesome, and filled with really cool people. And I’m able to setup a program that helps young kid’s with Ellen’s mom. We meet with the kids once per week and make them a big ass awesome dinner, and just hang out with them and be a positive roll model and or influence in their lives. And we also offer to lend our knowledge to church members during this time window, so they have someone to talk to about life stuff. Between my mom (highly successful lawyer) Ellen’s dad (highly successful business man) My dad (extremely knowledgeable about cars and fixing almost anything that runs), Me (very knowledgeable with IT/website/computer stuff + finances and accounting/bookeeping).
I think with all that knowledge we could help people out, so they didn’t get taken advantage of, and we could help kids out with college applications and or Job applications ect… I dunno it just seems like we could make a big difference in people’s lives. And also once we get the sisters house paid down or off, we could rent 1 or 2 of the units out to really good people from the church, we could just talk to people and find some really deserving family and just totally change their life, let them live at the sisters house for super cheap, and have their kids go to a great school in Mason.